Remembering my dad...

Yesterday would have been my father's 50th birthday. On the 9th it will be 7 years that he passed away. I had a rough day with that. Some things have happened recently with my family that have really opened up some wounds that I thought were healed, that were healing. I woke up thinking someone was breaking in, had to call Steve at work and have him stay on the phone with me, it was a rough night. I remember when dad first passed, that was how my stress and sadness would come out, in my sleep, poor Steve, having to deal with me like that, what a great guy! I feel better this morning though, thank you Lord, your mercies are new every morning. You have your good cry, you think of the memories, and you know and hope that you will see them someday in heaven. Thank you Lord that we have that hope. I don't know what I would do without that hope. I wanted to write to all of you that have lost someone. It is the hardest, most painful, most gut wrenching process in your entire life. But remember through it all, it grows us as people, as human beings. It gives us a better picture of life, and what this life SHOULD look like, that life is short, live it, like really live it. Love your loved ones, live your days to the fullest, embrace your familiy and friends, this world and keep on going. Grief is the single hardest thing this side of heaven. I think in the bible when Jesus said there will be no more tears, no more pain in heaven, he knew this was the hardest part of life, seeing our loved ones suffer and then losing them. And then grief is such a hard process. I have a friend who had a falling out with one of their closest friends, and it is the hardest thing she has gone through. Losing a relationship through death or situations, that is grief, a loss, a process. It cuts you to the core of who you are and what you think about relationships, life, love, God, heaven, hell, etc... I want to encourage us that God loves us, he has the best interest at heart for us, our lives. And yah, bad things happen, hard things happen, but what would we do or be without those hard things. In James it talks about rejoicing in our trials, in Romans, it talks about how our suffering produces character, perseverence, and hope! Amen! I have been reading on this post thing for parents with preemies, and there was this one post that this women put out on her personal blog about what having a preemie has done to their belief in a higher power. I was struck at the 150 comments that poured in that people were angry at God, the old saying, if there is a God, how can he allow bad things to happen? I sat up for hours that evening reading it, praying and thinking of my life, of my loved ones lives, how we have lost, gone through hard things, and how we are still going on. It made me sad that when hard things happen the first thing people do is blame God, get angry at him. I believe with all my heart in God, that he loves me more than any other person on this earth can, and that he has a good plan for me. I want that plan, even if it means going through the hard stuff, to get there, to grow, to be able to reach out to others while I am here to help them through their hard stuff. Cause yah, I ask why too? But we have to get past that WHY??? and press through to healing, with God's help. God never intended for the hurt, the pain, the tears, the fall of man and sin brought that. That is the truth. That is what people need to hear, Satan allowed that. It is all more than I will ever be able to comprehend or fathom... really. No one can understand it all, or ever will be able to, only God does and can. And in that, I just trust him, knowing he has the best for me always. So, my heart and prayers go out to all of you who have lost someone in your life, that God will carry you through, that others will come up beside you and help you, that you will get through the grief and turn it to good.
I pray blessings to you all,
Sharrie